Never Again
by WhitePhoenixRyoko
Summary: Fai's been thinking about Seresu and his past a lot lately, and though he's been feeling so upset, he continues to hide behind his mask of cheerfulness. Is there anything Kurogane can do before something terrible happens? KuroFai, Oneshot R&R!


**A/N:** HIIIIIIIYAAAAAA! This be my first Tsubasa fanfic! YAY! And the points of views switch around between Fai-Fai and Kuro-chan a bit, but I think it's kinda easy to keep track of who's doing the narrating. 'Cuz Kuro-wan and Fai-Fai have their own distinct ways of thinking. And Kuro-pipi's a potty mouth.

Kurogane: **AM F---ING _NOT!_**

Drunk Vash Muse: ;blinkblink:

Fai: ;giggles in the backround:

Me: ...My point exactly. :D

Kurogane: ...dammit.

Me: Heeeeee...I win... XD

Anyways, if anyone has problems identifying whose point of view they're reading, just let me know, and I'll happily revise this fic by indicating whose point of view it is. Oh! And _UBER_ mega thankies to my Elftown friend, JapaneseMiko, who helped me out (A LOT) when I got stuck. :glomps her:

Originally, for suspence's sake (and 'cuz I'm a psycho bee-otch :sweatdrop:), I thought about posting this in sections, a chapter per point of view (meaning it would be 6 chappies long), but decided against it in the end. And also, I might make a sequal to this...I _reeeeeeeally_ want to. Or I could do an omake. But a sequal's good, too. And...COMMENT , PEOPLE! COMMENT! COMMENTS KEEP ME ALIVE! ;dies: x.x

...well, not really...

...but COMMENT ANYWAYS!

And y'all know the routine! No flames, no claims, flames shall be used on Vicious (Cowboy Bebop), Karasu (Yu Yu Hakusho), Dr. Muraki (Descendants of Darkness), and Seishirou (Tsubasa).

_SEISHIROU-SAN, YOU BIG MEANIE!_ ;shakes fist; murmurs spoilers for Tsubasa manga volume 7 under her breath:

**WARNINGS:** Language (from Kuro-pipi); Kurogane/Fai, in other words, shounen-ai (you like, you read; don't like, don't read); angst; blood; chars getting injured (don't flame meh! ;cowers:) ; and I think that's about it...

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue. Okeys? OKEYS! X3

PS: This is a one-shot fic, andit starts in Fai's point of view.

* * *

**Never Again**

It was one of those days, when everything felt distorted, out-of-place, and surreal.

In the middle of an unusual dream involving demon-butterflies and Kuro-tan as a very fluffy chihuahua, I woke up to the pitter-patter of rain hitting my window. As I slowly rolled out of bed and changed into my "work" outfit, I mused, _Funny; I didn't think it'd rain in Oto_. Half-awake, I finished dressing and staggered downstairs to the cafe.

"Fai's awake!" an apron-clad Mokona chirped, leaping from table to table towards me when I entered the room. Mentally slipping ona mask of cheerfulness, I smiled tiredly and mumbled a "good morning" as Sakura-chan walked over and handed me a cup of tea. Sakura-chan took a good look at me and said in a worried tone, "You look exhausted, Fai-san. Didn't you get any sleep?"

"Well, I got plenty...but not until Kuro-woof stopped yelling at Mokona on the other side of the room," I replied with a smile as I sat down at the bar. However, what I said was only half-true; the short-tempered ninja _had_ been yelling at Mokona, but even after they had quieted down, I remained awake, thinking about my world I'd left behind, Seresu, which lead to thoughts of _him_: Ashura-ou.

No matter what happened, or how many times we went to another world, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Ever since I left Seresu, memories of him had been haunting my every thought and dream. Sometimes, the memories would come so strong that I'd dip my head and let my hair fall in my face, using that to hide and stifle long-hidden emotions. On top of that, I wore a mask of simpering cheerfulness, something that I had forced myself to display a long time ago on Seresu. The only time I didn't wear this mask was either when I was alone or in bed at night, when I'd often spiral downward into the depths of despair.

Last night, I'd had another one of these bouts of depression, and it was about three hours after midnight when I'd silently cried myself to asleep.

"Speaking of which, where's the puppy pair?" I yawned before taking a sip of tea, almost scalding my tongue in the process.

Sakura-chan replied, "Kurogane-san left about an hour ago to visit that bar, Clover, again, and Syaoran-kun left a few minutes ago to pick up some flour."

I nodded and glanced out the door and into the pouring rain, "Sadly, I don't think we'll have many customors today."_ Not that I wouldn't mind... _

--------

When I walked in, a bag in one hand and my sword in the other, I was expecting to hear that crazy mage greet me with one of those stupid made-up names, but on the contrary, I didn't. I looked up and around the cafe; Sakura was serving Souma and Ryuuou as they sat at the bar, and Syaoran was making tea with the white manjuu bun's help. Fai was standing by the end of the counter, but had his back turned to everyone, and was staring down at an empty teacup in his hand. There was something odd about the look in his eyes; they were clouded over slightly, making him look far-away and depressed.

Wait..._depressed?_

I began to approach the magician, and just as I was about to say something to him, a rather loud boom of thunder resounded. Fai, startled, made a noise that sounded like a cross between a yelp and a squeek, jumped, and dropped the teacup. Hearing the sound of shattering china, everyone turned around to look at the magician, who also turned around. Upon seeing me, he smiled and said, "Oh! Kuro-chii, you're back!"

I would have asked him what was wrong, but my mouth decided to disobey my mind and instead go, "Hn."

_He's not saying it with much enthusiasm as he usually does..._ I thought.

Fai raised his eyebrows slightly, surprised that I hadn't yelled at him to stop calling me stuff like that. "Did you find out anything new?"

"No."

"Oh...then did you bring back any sake?" A hopeful grin plastered itself on his face.

_...Shit! _"...after what happened last time, you are _not_ having any!" I growled, tightening my grip on the bag in my hand.

Presently, Fai dropped his makeshift cane, fell to his knees, his face in his hands, and wailed, "**KURO-WAN'S SO _MEAN!_**"

"**KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE FAKE CRYING!**" I howled, only for him to continue shaking with fake sobs, causing everyone, including me, to sweatdrop. After a minute or two of his wailing, I finally got annoyed enough to yell, "FINE! YOU CAN _HAVE_ SOME SAKE! NOW KNOCK IT OFF!"

That damned magician instantly perked up, cheering from where he sat on the floor. Suddenly remembering the broken teacup on the floor, he snatched up a broom and dustpan from behind the counter, and swept up the shards of china and tossed them into the trashcan with a single swift motion. As Fai clambered to his feet (with the aid of his cane), in a voice quiet enough so that no one but he could hear, I murmured, "What was that?"

"What was what, Kuro-pipi?" He asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion (which, though I'd never admit it aloud, actually looked a little cute).

"That look you had a minute ago." No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't quite right with him, and this bothered me to no end.

Fai hesitated mid-sentence, "I was...thinking."

"About...?"

"...Sakura-chan and her feather in this world."

It was painfully obvious to me that Fai was lying, but I knew it would be damn near impossible to force the truth out of him, so I gave a disbelieving snort and plopped down on a bar stool. As soon as I set the bag of alcohol down on the counter, Fai swiped a bottle up and announced, "Hyuuuu! Big Puppy brought home presents!"

As the manjuu bun began to cheer, I slumped down in my seat and slapped my forehead.

_This...is going to be a loooooong night..._

--------

Hours later, as dusk crept up on the still-rainy day, all hell had broken loose. The princess had passed out from drinking so much, and had been carried up to bed by Syaoran half an hour ago. The manjuu bun was dancing and bouncing around the room, singing some sort of drinking song while Syaoran chased after it, making sure it didn't break anything. Fai was completely wasted, meowing drunkenly as he sat at a table. Ryuuou had refused to drink, and sat at the bar beside Souma, who'd hardly touched her glass of sake. I sat on Souma's other side, gripping my glass as I consentrated on _not_ jumping up and strangling the manjuu bun or Fai.

I was yanked out of this state when Souma remarked, "Little Puppy-kun told us earlier that you were visiting Clover for information on the new oni. Did you find out anything new?"

I shook my head, "No, but I did hear that it's been sighted around this area today...What d'you think you're doing _now_, magician?"

I ended my answer with a glare and a spite-filled question, both directed at Fai, who had stood up and stumbled to the door. Said magician turned around, gave me a drunken smile, and slurred, "I'ma jus'goin' ouzzide fer a sec, 'kay?"

With that, he slipped out the door. I shrugged and brought my glass up to my lips, and was just about to gulp down the last bit of sake in it, but hesitated when two thoughts crossed my mind.

One: _Isn't it still raining?_

Two: _Was it just me, or was he just **acting** drunk?_

--------

My smile faded to nothing the moment I stepped outside, and as soon I closed the door behind me, I dropped my empty glass of sake. All day, I'd been thinking about Ashura-ou again, and a few minutes ago, the depression that had built up behind my drunken mask had reached a very uncomfortable level. I mulled over several things for a moment, then, finding myself slipping down into depression, I slapped my forehead.

"Kami-sama, I have to stop doing this to myself..." I murmured to no one in particular, gazing up at the dark, stormy sky above me. For several minutes, I stood in the grass as the rain poured down, jumping slightly at each crack of thunder. My clothes were soon heavy and wet, and my soaked hair lie almost flat against my head. At that moment, I let a choked sob escape my lips, and finally let go of the tears that had been threatening to spill all day. In a matter of moments, I couldn't tell if the moisture streaking down my face was rain or tears. All I knew was that it was cold and lonely, mirroring how miserable I felt inside. Other than that, I didn't pay attention to anything else. I didn't even hear the sound of the giant creature behind me until it let loose a wild growl. I whipped around just as a flash of lightning illuminated the world, and my eyes widened.

An enormous oni stood before me, dark and menacing as it raised its blade-like arms to strike out at me.

For seconds, I couldn't move, my feet planted firmly on the ground. Just as the oni lashed out at me, I managed to leap aside, but no sooner had I done so that three more of its arms came out of nowhere and slashed savagely at my torso. I stumbled backward, wincing as I felt my shirt tear and the blades drag across my chest, and gazed up at the oni with wide, fear-filled eyes.

_I...I'm going to die tonight..._ I thought as I dashed around the corner of the house, only to be cut off by one of the oni's immense feet. I'd barely turned around when it lashed out at me again, cutting my arm. I tripped in the mud, crying out as I felt my already-injured ankle twist violently beneath me.

Then, without warning, I was slammed into the side of the house. I slid down to the ground, my entire left side getting covered with mud, and suddenly, everything seemed very cold. I shivvered as the world slowly began to fade into darkness. Before I completely lost consiousness, I whispered the name of someone strong. Someone who was fearless. Someone who, dispite the fact I annoyed him, would save me from certain death.

_"Kurogane..."_

--------

Several minutes passed since the magician had gone outside, and each minute had become more quiet than the last. Souma eventually broke the silence with, "Big Kitty-san has been out for quite some time now..."

A split-second after she said this, I heard a faint cry outside, followed by a heavy thud.

_Sounds almost like someone was thrown against..._

Before I could finish the thought, my stomach twisted into various complicated knots, and I murmured, "Ryuuou. Your sword," before standing quickly and swiping up Souhi.

Ryuuou gazed at me, confused, then looked at his weapon beside him. After a second or two, his eyes widened, and he swiftly unsheathed the sword and cried, "ONI!"

I was out the door before Ryuuou, Souma, or Syaoran even had the chance to move. It wasn't difficult to spot the towering oni, but there was no Fai to be seen. I raced to the side of the house where the thud had come from, pausing when lightning lit up the scene.

The oni hovered over Fai's still form, damp with rain, and blood staining the front of his shirt red.

_I went berserk._

I payed no mind to everyone else as they also attacked the oni. All that existed was the oni, myself, and Fai's limp body on the ground.

Each movement became slow. Every sound was muted. I felt no pain when the oni would injure me. Even the rain lost its coldness as it soaked my clothes and skin. Reality dissolved into a dreamlike state as we battled the oni, only to stop when the creature from Hell gave a blood-chilling shriek as it dissolved into the air, defeated.

In an instant, I dropped Souhi and raced to Fai's side. The rain seemed to be coming down harder each second, and there was so much blood; It was like I was chest-deep in the stuff. I lifted Fai's head slowly, in order not to jolt him. The droplets of rain rolled down his face and fell into the small puddles that lay by his side. I was panicking; What if he was..._dead?_

But no! There it was: the barely-perceptable rising and falling of his thin chest. We had to get him inside and treat his wounds _now_, while he still had a chance. But there was so much blood...how could he still be breathing?

I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard Souma's voice as she approached me, "Don't move him just yet; he might have broken something."

Souma knelt down beside me, put a hand behind Fai's back, and ran it up and down his spine once. She sighed in relief, "I don't feel any breaks..."

"Souma. We need to get him inside. _Now._" My voice sounded hoarse and distant, full of fear and anger -at the oni and at myself- , and so completely unlike my own.

Carefully as possible, I gathered Fai in my arms, as if he was a fragile porcelain figurine that could shatter into a million pieces if I so much as breathed on him. I carried him inside, pausing only to kick off my muddy sandals at the door. I didn't take notice to Syaoran's absence, but to be honest, I didn't care; all I could think of was the slight man cradled in my arms. In a matter of minutes, I entered one of the two upstairs bedrooms that I had been forced to share with Fai (but at that moment, the idea sounded quite feasable), and turned on the lamp beside the bed that the magician had claimed as his own. I placed his light frame down on the bed as gently as possible. He was light, so light..._too_ light. Didn't he ever eat?

His clothes, so damp. He was going to catch a chill if we didn't get them off, but I didn't want to move, didn't want to leave his side.

_Why do I feel this way?_

People moving in the background. Whispered voices. Syaoran placing something next to my elbow: a First Aid kit. '_Aid, yes, render aid to your friend, Kurogane,'_ chanted a voice in the back of my head. But why couldn't I do anything but stare at him? Pale, so pale. Breathing, but barely. It was hard to believe that only minutes ago, he was mewling insanely, annoying me and everyone around him.

Pushing these thoughts to the back of my head, I murmured with difficulty, "Get...get some towels." As soon as Syaoran returned with the requested items, I grabbed two, gently placing one under Fai's head. The second towel in hand, I got to work drying him off, starting with his face. Once done, I removed his tie and unbuttoned his blood- and rain-drenched vest and shirt with clumsy fingers. Suspecting broken arms, I relieved him of these clothes with great care, almost shocked at what I found beneath the layers of cloth.

Besides the bleeding gashes across his chest, there were scars. Not many, but they were there. A faded bite mark on his collarbone. A pale line on his side that ran from the center of his chest to his hip. Scratches on his lower stomach. It hurt to see these marks tainting his pure, soft skin. It also angered me; who had done this to him? What had Fai done to deserve these scars? I wanted to kill every last person who'd dared to hurt the unconcious man lying on the bed. And once again, _why_ do I feel this way?

As I gently pressed my towel over the wounds on his chest, I noticed that Souma had moved to the foot of the bed, and had taken off his shoes and socks. She carefully touched his left ankle, which was pink and swollen, and, earning a slight flinch from Fai, had Ryuuou go get a bag of ice.

Several minutes later, I finished dressing each of his wounds, and set to the task of drying off the remainder of his body. Syaoran escorted Souma and Ryuuou out of the room, giving me a worried look before closing the door behind him. It took me a few seconds to realize _why_ he had done so.

_No way. No** fucking **way._ I thought, and heat rose to my face in an instant. Ignoring my mind's screaming in protest, I managed to get Fai into his pajamas without incident. I looked down at the muddied, damp blankets on his bed, and shrugged.

_Ah, what the hell...I won't be sleeping anyway..._

With that, I gently scooped up the sleeping wizard and carried him over to my bed, lying him down and covering him with the thick blankets. Even through the cloth of his soft blue pajamas, he was trembling and cold to the touch; I threw an extra blanket over his sleeping form, just incase.

How peaceful he looked as he slept. His eyes, lightly closed, moved under their lids as he dreamt. Soft, golden hair, still slightly damp, clung to his face, and I reached over and brushed it away. As I did this, I realized that his face wasn't as pale as earlier; his cheeks were beginning to look slightly rosey. More than relieved to know that Fai was finally beginning to warm up, I took a chair from the nearby desk and took a seat next to his bed. Taking my eyes off his sleeping form for a moment, I glanced out the window; it was still pouring down rain outside, the downpour accompanied by the occasional flash of lightning and roll of thunder. Turning back to Fai, who still shook from the cold, I reached over and gently pulled the covers up to his chin.

_Yeah...this is **definitly** going to be a long night..._

--------

For the next few days, Syaoran took a break from oni hunting to help the princess run our cafe. I barely left the bedroom, and spent each night at Fai's bedside, mentally beating down the growing urge to wake the sleeping magician. Feeling utterly useless, I could only watch as he tossed and turned, terrible nightmares ravaging his mind as he slumbered.

Two nights after he had been attacked, his dreams reached a whole new level of terrifying.

It started with an occasional whimper, followed by him turning over in bed. This quickly escalated into half-shouted words, pained groans escaping his lips as he thrashed around in bed. As the night wore on, I knew I had to do something. This was eating me up inside, just sitting there, watching as he tore blankets aside and tossed pillows. Sometimes he screamed, sometimes he cried. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't just sit passively by as he destroyed himself from the inside out in the midst of his fever-induced dreams. I didn't think he could take much longer either.

With that, I reached out and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder; I couldn't afford to be my normal mencing self here. Regardless of how lightly I had touched him, he still writhed in the opposite direction, attempting to get as far away from my hand as possible. Someone had wanted to hurt him once before, and he couldn't forget it, even though he was worlds away from his home. Even though he would probably never see the person that tormented him ever again.

_Why does my heart feel like it's breaking?_

"NO!"

His shout seemed to echo around in my brain and I recoiled slightly. How could I do this to him? How could I touch him and frighten him? Would he _really_ feel better if I were to wake him to a reality that probably wasn't much better than his nightmare?

"Not again... Never again..." He whimpered and rolled over to the edge of the bed. Gods! He was about to roll off! Without a second thought, I reached out and pulled him close, not even noticing how hard he was fighting me at first. I just held him and soothed him until he stilled.

I could feel his head move against my chest, and I looked down. His pale eyelids had slid open and he was staring at me with half-glazed cerulean eyes, almost imploring me to tell him that everything was going to be all right. That the demons in his mind where never going to get to him again.

I bent down to whisper in his ear.

"Yes, Fai. Never again."


End file.
